Why is it so hard for us to say “No!”?
Ok, so I’m not going to get into the psychology behind this, I’m a technical geek, not a brain geek. 😉 But I do know that I’ve always struggled with this. Someone asks me to do something and I just CAN’T SAY NO! Well, I should say “couldn’t say no” because that’s all changed. I’m here to tell you, it’s o.k. to say no!
Want to know my secret?
Of course you do!
I call it my “pause button”.
What’s a pause button, you ask?
It’s when I do exactly that – I pause myself. The instinct is to automatically answer “Yes, sure, I’ll do that for you…” but what if you train yourself to stick a step in there -after the ask? That step is, you hit your “pause button”. This gives you a moment to push the YES out and insert one of these: “NO” (no apologies or excuses necessary) or “I will have to take a look at my schedule and get back to you. When do you need an answer by?” If they need an answer right then and there, the answer is “NO”. Period.
Yes, we want to help others, we really do, but we need to set limits, and we cannot do that on the spur of the moment when we are feeling the pressure.
So now that you are going to cut back on your YES answers and say NO more often, what do you do about all the things you’ve already said “YES” to and still have on your plate?
Make a List
I know, you’ve done this before – made lots and lots of lists and you’re still overwhelmed! Well here’s the thing, we’re going to try something NEW with this list! We are going to COMPLETE IT! Really.
So right now I want you to go to your calendar and block out an hour with no interruptions. This is an appointment with yourself, for yourself, for your business.
During that hour you will:
- Make your list of everything that is on your plate right now. EVERYTHING! Whether it is writing a blog post or making a dentist appointment for your daughter or making dinner tonight.
- Now, next to each of those items write down the name of someone else who can do that job besides you. For the items where you know it is not something that ONLY YOU can do, but do not have someone specific in mind for that task, write “other”.
- Assign these tasks with names next to them to those people – right now. Put a sticky note on your daughter’s bedroom door to write up the grocery list, send an email to an associate, text your spouse or friend to take care of another task.
- What about the blog post and social media images and emails to write? Find a VA. Right now, during this hour. Reach out to friends and colleagues for recommendations and email those VA’s RIGHT NOW!
- All that’s done and the hour’s not up? Look at everything that will take less than 5 minutes and complete it. NOW.
- Now, schedule another hour tomorrow or later in the week to follow up with the VA’s you contacted. Depending on the number of tasks you have decided to outsource, you may need a couple of VA’s and that’s ok.
- Finally, look at all the items you have crossed off your list and celebrate!
I’ve learned a lot from Jack Canfield in the past year. If you haven’t yet read his book, “The Success Principles”, I definitely suggest picking up a copy today. Here is a video he created with a few tips to help you focus and be more productive. It’s only 3 minutes but will free up so many more! Enjoy!
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